Offering a Loving Welcome
The fifth installment in the Season of Love on Second Cup with Lynn and Nancy.
Looking at life through the lens of love, in Episode 17 of Second Cup with Lynn and Nancy, we talked about offering a loving welcome, in other words, hospitality. It brings to mind a warm welcome and a gracious spirit when someone is glad to see you. It’s not always a party, as Nancy wisely pointed out because some of the most hospitable people we know are not necessarily party planners. Unsurprisingly, it has nothing to do with the china or the glassware or the floral displays.
What is key to offering a loving welcome so that others feel good when they walk in? Anticipation - you want them to know you’ve planned for them as you greet them warmly. There are no awkward pauses. They can sense you were waiting for them to arrive. They haven’t interrupted but are welcomed in a clear, thoughtful way.
The key to offering a loving welcome? It’s always about the other person. As you plan to have someone over or get ready to host an event, consider what their experience will be. This doesn’t have to be extravagant - a box of crackers, a block of cheese, and a cluster of grapes, and you are ready to welcome someone. It’s not about the fanciness; it’s about the atmosphere you set. Nancy recently had a neighbor over to share a bottle of wine after months of trying to make it happen. Nancy pulled out some jarred sauce, some frozen meatballs, and created a light Italian supper, and kept the emphasis on the guest. She was in the mindset to be able to offer a warm welcome at a moment’s notice.
For me, as an introvert*, the best part of any gathering is the preparation. I love getting everything ready to welcome guests, right down to the paper straws that Nancy most likely sent me. But welcoming people is about so much more than setting the table. We had a party at our home the first Christmas we lived here. We wanted to show welcome and appreciation for our neighbors. And as the new people on the block, we were a little nervous. We had the party, and for five years after until the pandemic cut our tradition short, we continued. Here’s what I learned: People want to contribute. I told people bringing a dish to share was optional, but every single person brought something. They want to feel part of it. If someone asks what they can bring, let them! Offer a suggestion! Another suggestion, plan for safety. We have some wide steps on our front porch and some older folks at the party, so we installed a handrail. This provides some physical safety, just as important as the emotional safety you’re providing with your warm welcome.
It's okay to be good at this. I used to get teased a lot, and people would call me “Martha Stewart” and not in a flattering way! Maybe I was overachieving a bit, but I think a little extra effort makes guests feel special when they get here. Nancy recalled a time when some of her co-workers were in our city for a big international event. We hosted them at our home on New Year’s Day. We opened the door big and wide and provided lots of food. They were far from home and found a coffee maker and a comfortable chair. They were tired and needed to be nurtured and left to themselves. Sometimes my introverted nature comes in handy! Twenty years later some folks are still talking about it and that gives me such joy. Those people stayed and stayed and stayed. I sliced every piece of cheese and old Christmas salami at the end of the night. It wasn’t fancy, but it was a warm welcome when they needed one!
I love following people who are good at this hospitality thing. We both love Brunch with Babs. She’s out there showing us how to live with charm. energy and graciousness. She embodies all of this. We also love Shauna Niequist too! She encourages us to make it about the people, and her recipes are excellent. Her book Present Over Perfect is great if you are looking for a reset in how you welcome people. Highly recommend! A newer book by Shannan Martin is called Start with Hello and it addresses the reciprocal nature of neighboring, like my neighbors who open their patio every Friday night for whoever can gather.
If you haven’t done it for a while, make the effort and invite someone over. Keep it simple! Practice the simple art of offering a warm welcome in a loving way.
*I’m an outgoing introvert so you might not guess I need time to recharge!
POINTS OF GRATITUDE
I’m grateful for my neighbors. They share time and space and garden produce. I know their names and their dogs’ names and love the friendly waves several times a day.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
What makes you feel most welcome at someone else’s home?
What is your go-to party snack or meal?
What’s the most important task to get ready for an impromptu gathering at your home?