How Do We Choose?
Marking the occasion of the end of “This is Us,” a podcast favorite, Nancy and I got to talking about TV content and the overwhelming choices available. I had just finished watching “Julia” on HBOMax (now Max). I was a huge fan of Julia Child as a kid- watching every weekend on PBS and writing down recipes.
As women north of sixty, when we were kids there were only a few channels to choose from. I loved the PBS offerings like Julia Child as The French Chef, but also Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood long after I was in the target demographic and a fun show called Zoom! I still know the zip code (0 2 1 3 4) for when you wanted to “send it to Zoom!”
Content! It’s overwhelming! When I don’t know what to watch or the world seems slightly overwhelming, I often default to The West Wing. It’s my comfort TV!
This got me thinking about decision-making and how we decide in all kinds of settings. My brother taught me to think about business decision-making by starting with goals and values. The difference between the two? Goals change and lead to accomplishment. Values, once established, remain. How does this apply to decision-making for what to watch? Hang with me.
Values can be specific, filters in decision-making. Recently I helped with a big fundraising effort at a church where I work, where we are raising money to purchase and renovate an old printing press building in the heart of downtown. We have been able to make decisions about how we are going to raise funds according to our firmly established values, which we’ve had from the beginning of this rather young church. We refer to them as Mantras. Just four, easy to remember and an easy filter to run these through. As Nancy pointed out, being easy to remember is key. When I was at Notre Dame, they also had key mantras for programming, hiring, and other decision-making scenarios. In non-profits, especially important because they are prone to mission creep. So many good things to do, but we can be spread too thin.
Values, mantras, checklists, filters, rubric. We ought to be able to come up with these for decisions we have to make. Decide once what I value! Tie this to personal content, not just in the business realm, bring that good stuff back home, and personal choices. The older I get, the file box is full. With rubrics in place, I’m good to go!
Apply this to entertainment content choices, I’m applying these values:
I value feeling better rather than worse at the end of it. You can’t always tell but I read ahead. I don’t want to feel scared, confused, or dark at the end of consuming the content. Not a value judgment - you may choose differently, but have some!
I like material that entertains or informs. “Yes!” to documentaries and life-long learning.
I have permission to quit. If it’s not worth my time, I can stop. Even a couple of chapters into a book that’s not resonating, I’ll drop it. Earlier in life, I felt a kind of obligation to complete. No more.
You may not enjoy informational documentaries, like Nancy’s husband Tom. That’s okay. Be proactive, and bring some intentionalities. Personalize your filters. To be actively intentional all the time is exhausting - so do this ahead of time!
One decision I’ve made ahead of time is that when I am feeling sorry for myself, I know it’s time to do something for someone else. I had a very wise friend and neighbor who shared that with me several years ago and it never failed me. Decisions made long ago help us know what to do. With a recent holiday weekend facing us with no plans, we were tempted to feel sad about that, sorry for ourselves. Instead, we decided to make a holiday meal and deliver it to some friends who had weekends packed with activities and obligations. It was fun, creative, exercised the gift of hospitality, and ended up with a good kind of tiredness at the end. A decision made ahead of time made this an easy and rewarding choice.\
POINTS OF GRATITUDE
I am grateful for having options. It’s a privilege to get to make decisions. I am very aware and grateful for wise teachers like my brother, a neighbor, and a BFF like Nancy.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
Is there a show or movie you turn to for comfort?
Do you enjoy lots of options or feel overwhelmed by too many choices?
Is there a consistent rule of thumb you follow in making decisions?