Making Mantras Count
It’s no surprise that I began our conversation on making mantras count with a trip down a rabbit hole. The subject for this side dive was high school cross country! Both Schneider kids were runners, which offered us seven years of way-early Saturday morning meets. Lynn and John’s youngest son ran in middle school, so this is another topic in the ‘shared experiences’ column.
Each season I looked forward to the day Dave or Ellen brought home their new team t-shirt. On the backside you would find a slogan or phrase that would help set the tone for the year. The key was to pick something that would psyche up the home team while psyching out the competition.
Jumping right in, Lynn asks, “Who decided on the theme? What was the process?” Some years, our coaches would make the pick. Other years this creative outlet was reserved for the team captains. However it was done, I appreciated a coach taking advantage of an opportunity to turn it into a teachable moment or tradition that would move the team toward their goal. Here are some examples:
Cross Country, it’s about where you’re going and who you leave behind. (An accurate statement)
Cross Country, one hill of a sport. (From the days of PG-13)
Cross Country - no time outs, no half times, no substitutions, the only true sport. (As Lynn noted, “a true brag statement.”)
It hurts a lot less when you win. (So true)
To run fast, run fast. (Duh!)
Good enough is neither.
Lynn remembered this one from a meet involving a parochial school, “And on the seventh day, God did an easy three!” The “easy three” being referenced is a three mile run which in my world is anything but easy!
Back On Topic
On the subject of personal mantras, principles or power statements, Lynn and I discuss the use of a phrase to guide us in daily life. We respect the power of well chosen words.
When we recorded the original conversation, Prince Harry was in the news for his leadership with the Invictus Games. In interviews with the media, he would be quoted as saying, “My mantra in life is to make the world a better place for my kids.”
A current mantra that Lynn and I share is rooted in a tender story about my mother who was living in a nursing home due to an advanced case of congestive heart failure. I arrived late one day and she was already in the dining room for lunch. I caught a glimpse of her and her tablemates. While laboring for air to fill her lungs, my mother’s mind was very much intact. This was not the case with the others.
When we finally had time alone to catch up, I told her I had observed the dining room. “Mom, you are clearly in a different state.” I also noted that she has no physical control of her coming and going. Wasn’t this hard? How was she managing?
With a sweet smile and a calm demeanor, she responded, “You know, Nancy, I made all of the choices that got me to this place, at this moment. I stay in the day and go back and recount all of the good, and that is sufficient.”
When she finished, we had a moment. The silence marked something sacred.
From that day, I have used her words as daily guidance as well as a reminder to take ownership of my journey, the good and the not-so-good. Her opening words, “You know…” represented a lot of history, and yet she said it with a sense of peaceful acknowledgement of what had gone before. I want that for my life, too.
“Stay in the day.” When life comes at us fast, typically with a list of daunting “what ifs,” calmly repeating these four words helps to regulate my breathing. Lynn correctly observed, “This truth helps to prevent us from spinning our wheels too fast.”
Mantras As Guardrails
Mantras can be an important guardrail to planning and goal setting, too. While these practices are good and often necessary, anxiety levels are often sent sky high. Using a guide, such as “stay in the day,” can remind us of reasonable limits and reset expectations.
Lynn highlights another shared mantra that we borrow from our friends in the medical profession. “When I get caught up in things, words can come out of my mouth that could be harmful to others and I don’t want that. So, one of my mantras is ‘do no harm.’ Make the choice to wait it out. Not to stuff it, but to deal with it in a time when emotion is not at the forefront of my mind. And not to have regrets about how I treated someone.”
The third one we frequently use is “do the next thing.” This bit of wisdom came to us during a conference when we heard a speaker address personal suffering. Lynn explains, “She said suffering is having anything you don’t want or wanting anything you don’t have. And when you’re in that suffering, the only thing you can do is the very next thing. Just one thing.”
Stay in the day.
Do no harm.
Do the next thing.
Yes, these are the three that work for us.
A POINT OF GRATITUDE
I am grateful for my creative BFF Lynn for sharing life with me. The stories behind our three mantras are gifts that continue to offer joy, wisdom, comfort, and much needed grace.
Words matter, right?
Whether you call them mantras, slogans, or catch phrases, even a casual combination of words can make a difference in someone’s day. Have you ever been surprised by a street sign? An unexpected card in the mail with an encouraging word? A positive billboard? (they exist?)
Post your examples on Instagram and tag us, @secondcupwithlynnandnancy.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
Do you have a word of wisdom or other truism that guides your thinking?
Have you ever created a mantra or slogan for a special season of life?
Do you have a source of wisdom for navigating the day to day?
