What Is It You Do?
A pod-to-blog project continues with this article based on Episode 29.
Ever go to a party and someone corners you and asks you “What is it you do?” Do you have an easy answer at the ready? Well, being two women with non-traditional career paths, we kind of hate that question. It makes it all about performance. Who we are is so much more than what we do!
Today we turn our attention to careers and work and specifically, career trajectories. Many experts recommend specific pathways to success, a strategy toward the ladder to accomplish your professional goals. When locker room conversation turns to 401K plans, the expectations are of a younger dynamic.
As a pre-Title 9 baby, I started high school in the fall of 1974. Everything began to flip from what our mothers and grandmothers expected to do to the expectations for us. How many of us at 18 know what we want to do and are Imparted with a vision and the tools and resources to go after what we want, especially when the world for women was changing so dramatically?
Nancy wanted to be a teacher since she was a little girl, lining up stuffed animals and giving them spelling tests. It always stayed with her - that desire to connect with students. But when she and I were getting ready to go to college in 1978, education was not encouraged. It was all about entering the business world, about forging new trails in formerly male-dominated fields. What was missing was a conversation about what we were equipped to do. Since she was active in journalism in high school she headed in that direction. Ironically, I wanted to be Jane Pauley. She joined the Today Show at age 25. I wanted to follow her lead, and go to Indiana University and be on TV. But when I met John, an engineer, I became a trailing spouse, a stay-at-home mom, and it wasn’t until later in my life that I had my first big girl job at age 50, earning a graduate degree later in life. Now doing what I love to do, but as a volunteer. Certainly not Jane Pauley, but I love what I’m doing. It has been an unexpected pathway to get there.
What is it you do? How can we respond to that question in a positive way that reflects the journey? What if your life’s work hasn’t turned out the way you expected? Maybe better or maybe harder. Maybe just different. So with experience and a great day of compassion, we turn our attention to talking about our careers.
A good friend worked every day from the time she was 13, and retirement from a C-suite position with a major corporation has been exhilarating. Another friend is leading a non-profit, but her college degree would have pointed her in a completely different direction. We just don’t know where we are headed!
So in light of our philosophy of work, how do we answer the question, “What is it you do?” What is work? What is the pie chart balance of work and life? There is an element of work where we need to work for income, for financial incentives. We want to be rewarded for what we are contributing, and what we bring to the marketplace. The other aspect for Nancy is that work is a place of service. She is motivated by the connection to the mission. It’s important to know why you are working!
A professor at Harvard, Rosabeth Moss Kanter, published a study that tells us that more than money, we are motivated by meaning, mastery, and membership. Nancy is highly motivated in her work life by meaning. I identify with membership, being a part of something. I currently work with a group of church leaders, devoted to changing some of the trends of church life making sure that everyone feels welcome. I just love being a part of that. Work in its best sense must line up with what we value.
What about work-life balance? It seems to be more of a cycle than an achievable goal. If we look at the pie chart of our lives: family, home, volunteer work, community, all of the things we talk about at Second Cup. In our careers to look at work-life balance, writing for Harvard Business Review, this author recommended some things:
Pause and denormalize. Take a step back and ask what is causing me stress. How are these circumstances affecting me and my life? Mentally pause to acknowledge these factors and ask what's going on if my work and life are out of balance.
Pay attention to the emotions that are brought up. Increasing cognitive and emotional awareness helps us put things in perspective. This leads us to important questions: If I am sacrificing, how long? If I am putting work above family, do I have a partner to balance that out? If not, do you have the resources needed to make a change that works better for you?
Implement change in two ways: public (get your resume ready) or private change (work patterns and set expectations in the workplace such as when are you replying to emails?)
Work looks differently for all of us especially as we enter and inhabit our sixties. We can make private changes that help us answer “What is it you do?”
Begin with gratitude.
Invest in the people around you.
Acknowledge disappointment.
Be kind to your younger self and the decisions made.
So what is it you do? Are you retired? Are you and your husband still working? “I’m very grateful to have had these experiences in my life, and here’s what I do for work now, but I’m also involved with these things in my life (family, community podcast!).” Be prepared to give that answer!
POINTS OF GRATITUDE: the unexpected twists and turns in my non-traditional career path
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION:
What do you value most: membership, mastery, or meaning?
What was your childhood dream for your career?
What is it you do?